Its been a long time since I blogged on here (you will see why as you read on).
The book (see image included in this post) “Do nothing rental person” prompted me to write, as it helped me articulate thoughts (and experiences) of the last 3 years!
What is your value as a human being?
Is it based on what you do? Is it based on your job, you income, position, accomplishments, achievements, status, membership of communities?
The book asks this question (and the memoir explores the answer from Morimoto’s perspective). I have been answering this question for the last 3 years (unsatisfactorily!) and here you have my unfinished tale.
I quit my full time, tenured academic position 3 years ago around the start of COVID (previously having quite another full time, tenured academic position in 2017) and yet another full time (charity) role in 2021. I hold an honorary academic (unpaid associate professorship) position at university currently in addition to my role as founder of my social enterprise startup (https://vividhata.co/).
I wanted to do both Science research and Diversity & Inclusion-but on my terms.
On quitting the paid job I faced a bewildering range of reactions:
- former colleagues who seemed uncomfortable and almost unwelcoming to seeing me at University (“What are you doing here?)- was it survivors guilt?
- people who lauded my supposed courage and newfound freedom (“you are so brave to quit uni/do a startup”, “lucky you!)- the stress, being broke, loneliness and workload of now 2 jobs (unpaid research and creating a startup) was ignored by them.
- the most painful was the unspoken message: “not a serious scientist” anymore – was paid employment a requirement to belong to the scientific community?
So, it made me ask myself: “What makes a valid scientist: one who does Science, or one who gets paid to do Science?”
I would argue, that I am more a valid scientist now than I ever was. When I was a paid academic, I did Science not only for love but also for money. It imposed some constraints (natural enough, I’m not cribbing). Now, I do Science at the cost of making money. What does this say about my love for Science and my passion for it?
The larger and more general question it raises is, “Does earning money validate our actions/us“ and it led me to ask “What is the value of a human being?“
Is our work identity (& earning money ) the passport to us being valued and respected?
In that regard, the (paid) work I do is regarded with mixed feelings: some appreciate the importance of Diversity & Inclusion, other don’t. So for some, I am useless and an irritant, while for others I am an agent of needed positive change. Whose opinion should I base my value on?
But all see it as entirely unrelated to Science. I have become a professional misfit!
I hope one day I have the courage to do what Morimoto does- and be a do nothing person to interrogate further by experience the concept of human value.
Meanwhile, what do you think?
artiagrawal 